10 Reasons Not To Get A Divorce – Read & Have A Rethink

How To Avoid DivorceHere’s Why you Need to Rethink Divorcing your Partner

Ending a marriage can not only take a toll on you emotionally, but also physically. Divorce rates are increasing across the world and the reasons range from alcoholism, physical abuse, infidelity, lack of communication, etc. In this day and age of drive-in marriages, quick divorces are no longer shocking. Several marriages end up in divorces. But there are marriages that do face ups and downs and finally make it to the other side. One has to understand, that a marriage is not a packet of instant noodles. You cannot expect it to magically “work”. You have to work on a marriage. So if things go awry in your marriage and you’re considering a divorce, ask yourself why. Go back to the time the problems started and try to understand if there is a pattern. Ask yourself how a divorce can help your current situation. There are several reasons to stay in a marriage and make it work.

1. For the children
Staying in the marriage for your children’s sake, is one of the prime reasons cited by couples who have considered divorce at some point or the other. Children from broken homes tend to suffer from more self-esteem problems than children whose parents are together. A child’s home is his/her safety zone. A broken home can cause severe emotional trauma to the child. Children, whose parents are together, have more of a sense of well being and are also proven to be more content. Problems at home also influence a child’s mood pattern, ability to concentrate, ability to be creative, etc. Children from regular homes adjust well to school and are better at making friends and coping with basic problems, such as bullying, peer pressure, etc.

2. The sanctity of marriage as an institution
If you believe in the inherent sanctity of marriage as an institution, you should work extra hard to keep it together. There are loads of people falling in love at first sight, getting married quickly and filing for divorce by the end of the month. Every other day, you hear of couples getting divorced. Marriage, as an institution, has become less holy. People seek quick fixes or rather, quick divorces, instead of ironing the differences. Be a role model and fight for your marriage. Be the couple that valued the institution of marriage and made it work, despite odds. If there’s anything worth fighting for, it is a relationship that once had promise and potential.

3. Divorce affects health adversely
Divorce brings with it all the unhealthiness attributed to a single life. A Chicago study involving 8,652 people aged 51 to 61, found divorced people have 20% more chronic illnesses such as cancer than those who never marry. They are also more susceptible to depression, heart ailments and diabetes, over the long term.

4. Humans are essentially social animals
The need for companionship is a basic human need. It’s nice to come home to a friendly face. Being with someone you love, brings out your nice side. In popular culture, the stereotyped “old maid” or “loser” is typically the crabby and annoyed single or divorced person.

5. Coping with the new void in your life can be tough
Most divorced people who suddenly have a lot of free time, do not want to go home to an empty house. Remember, when you were single, you killed time, chatted on the phone, surfed the net, etc., and then suddenly started work at 4 p.m. Most married people tend to be more efficient and organized at work. They tend to finish work on time, to be with their partner. Going home to be with someone you adore and love is certainly the best motivation to work faster and better.

6. Managing finances becomes more challenging
Finance is another aspect that makes people rethink their divorce. Most people also put off a divorce, because of the insane expenditure involved. Legal fees, child support, alimony/palimony, different living arrangements, etc., can dent a hole in your bank account. Married couples also tend to make more informed and less risky investment decisions. Additionally, when you’re single, you tend to spend a month’s salary on a dress or dip into your savings to take a vacation. With another person in the relationship, there is accountability and you have to spend responsibly. People also start saving only after marriage, because of the natural progression of their lifestyle.

7. Dating again after a divorce
When you get a divorce, you’ll be out in the whole dating zone again. Although that seems exciting for some people, the whole process of dating can be daunting. There are a few things you’ll never have to worry about, after you’re married. You’ll never have to be on your guard and be on your best behaviour to impress the other person. You can be yourself. You can burp and scratch when you want to. No need of worrying if your hair is limp or if your clothes are creased.

8. Multiple sex partners increase odds of STD
Although multiple sex partners sounds exciting, it places you at a risk that you will never be exposed to when you’re in a marriage. Contracting a sexually transmitted disease is more common in cases of single people. For some people, sex with your married partner becomes boring. However, sex can become more experimental and fun with a partner over the years. Not to mention the benefits of having only one partner and consequently safe sex.

 

9. Coping with a new partner may be a task
If you have invested a lot of time and effort in the relationship, it is a good reason to rethink the divorce. You have spent years getting accustomed to your partner’s way of life, likes, dislikes, habits, temperament, etc. Any other relationship and marriage will take as much time and effort. Are things really so bad, that you’re willing to throw all this away, to take your chance on another relationship that may or may not be the same? Chances of a second marriage ending in divorce are two-fold, as most people subconsciously look for someone similar to their first spouse.

10. Working with the current situation may be easier
If your partner is essentially a good person and you truly love him/her, you can find a way to work through this rough patch. As clichéd as it sounds, love does make the world go round. People do crazy things in love. You’ll definitely find it in you to spend some time and effort to make the marriage work.

Seek professional help before you take the big decision. A trained and certified counsellor will help you sort differences, and your marriage could become stronger than it was before.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then tell us one lesson you’ve learnt from it using the comment box below.

WHAT MANNER OF HUSBAND ARE YOU?

How can your wife describe you? Below are few categories of husband:

(1). Autocratic Husband– He is a self-knowledge, self-involved, unbending, unyielding husband. Nobody can correct him, nobody can counsel him. To him, he knows everything. He is very arrogant and stubborn. He has no …mentor. He does not fear, honor or respect anybody.

(2). Corrosive Husband– He is abusive; hot tempered and a wife beater. He is not in charge of his temper. He is a no-joke, no-play, no-laughter and no-nonsense man. He shouts and barks at home.

(3). Solo Husband– He stays in separate room away from his wife. He is a “single” married man. He prefers sharing his secret with friends; the only time he talks to his wife is when he needs food and sex.
He is self-centered; his common words are “I”, “me”, “mine” and “myself”. He is full of self-glorification, self-justification and stinginess.

(4). Semi-Husbands– They are not real husbands, they are men under their trouser but lesser than that in their duties at home. They are real men in bed and on the dining table; but when it gets to paying school fees they are nothing.

(6). Supermarket Husbands– These are the kind of husbands that are unfaithful to their wives. They are everybody’s husband. To men like this, anything in skirt is good for a bedmate. They pay huge amount of money on hotel bills.

(7). Executive Husbands– These are the kind of men that live their lives in an executive way. They do not allow their wives to have any close relationship with them. They operate their rooms as if it is the general manager’s office; no love, no romance and no intimacy. If their wives want to enter their rooms, they have to knock and obtain permission before coming in.

(8). Traditional Husbands– They see their wives as properties. They believe women are third class citizens, useful only in the kitchen and bedroom. To them, a woman is just a cook, a tool of pleasure (sex) and baby making machine.

(9). Baby Husbands– They are not under-aged men physically, but they are infant mentally. They know how to build a house but not how to make a home.

If you want to know baby husbands look for the following:

• He keeps malice with his wife
• He rejects food because he is angry
• He beats his wife
• He reports his wife to friends and family members
• He keeps a separate room from his wife.
• He embarrasses his wife publicly
• He calls his wife goat, animal, fool, etc.
• He loves his mother more than his wife
• May refuse to give house-keeping allowance because of a little misunderstanding
• Can never be influenced by his wife
• He is a contentious husband, he nags.
• Will never pray with his wife
• Always find it difficult to say “I am sorry”.
• Will never help his wife with the baby.
• He threatens his wives with polygamy or divorce
• He criticizes, condemns and compares his wife with other women
• He does not love his wife, if he does; he will never say it, or demonstrate it.
• He leaves the house without anybody knowing where he has gone to.
• He gives no room for romance and intimacy. All he wants is sex.
• Gives no room for foreplay before sex. He is just like a carpenter who has no emotion for the nail.
• He retaliates instead of rewarding
• Never does anything to improve his marriage. He will never read marriage books, attend seminar or go for counselling.

(10). Kingdom Husbands– They are extra-ordinary husbands; they are what God want them to be as husband. They know that their God is to be feared and worshiped, their wives are to be loved and their children are to be catered for. They are “real men”, men indeed; they are the SUNSHINE in the life of their wives and children.

– They are man of integrity: – They mean what they say; and say what they mean
– They do pray with and for their wives.
– They are faithful, loving and caring.
– They cherish and nourish their wives.
– They are good communicator.
– Apologize easily, forgive quickly.
– They lead their homes with wisdom

Kingdom Husbands – Traits of an Uncommon Hubby
1.God Fearing
2. Godly Character
3.Loves his wife
4.Respects and Honours
5.Good Communicator
6.Great Leader
7.Diligent
8.Romantic
9.He gives his Wife Peace
10.He is Committed to Marriage

This is not meant to abuse anybody, but for you to check yourself and try to be a better husband and father. The choice is yours………..

What manner of man do you desire out of the above?

Excerpt from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

5 Top Marriage Killers You Don’t Realize You’re Doing

Marriage is tough. It’s even tougher when it hits a rough patch. If you don’t know what marriage is… it’s a continuous work of art that changes every day with the good and the bad that happens in people’s daily lives and it takes two people to make it work. What are married people supposed to do if they want to work on their relationship?

First, you may seek counseling that will help you fend off a divorce or that who just want to plain give up on the relationship. Second, you may spend time apart to work on your issues. Another way to stave off bad feelings in a marriage is be aware the 5 things that can kill a marriage.

(1) Centering on Yourself – Why is this number one on the list of five? If you always think about your own needs first and not the needs of your spouse or children, it’s likely that your marriage will fail before it can even get off the ground. If you’re a person that finds themselves in this sort of relationship, don’t despair. There’s hope. Try doing something for your spouse. This is something out of the ordinary. Do something when they least expect it too.

(2) Keeping Your Feelings Inside – Those feelings that you keep inside of you tend to build up until they spill out all at once, mostly in a bad way too.

(3) No Restraints – Some people have a habit of talking all the time instead of holding in their feelings and words. If you find yourself as this sort of person, there is hope for you. However, you need patience to fix this issue. You can stop yourself from talking all the time, even if you don’t think so.

(4) Interruptions – Do you have a habit of interrupting your significant other when they are talking? This is a problem that needs to be corrected because everybody wants to be heard. Make sure to allow your spouse some talking time too.

(5) No Affections – Even if you and your spouse are having an argument and agree to disagree, you both need to express your love for each other, whether verbally or physically after the fact. When there is a marriage with no affections, both parties can feel unloved.

Have you noticed that the majority of the list centers on lack of communication in a marriage? This is due to the fact that a marriage cannot work without spouses talking to one another.

If you really want to spice up your marriage, awaken the fading fire of love and fire up your romance, Discover How You Can Rekindle The Feelings Of Love And Live Life Like It Used To Be Back Then, I highly recommend this guide that worked for me.

It contained Hidden Techniques that Will Show You How To Spice Things Up Again And Get Him Back To You, Yourself and You alone!

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

14 Top Ways To Keep Your MAN – These Tips Work MAGIC in Helping You Keep Your Marriage/Relationship Spicy!

God has given you your Mr. Right and your marriage/relationship is as strong, exciting, and hot as ever.  My advice is, never go slow in your show of affection for him.  How to keep your man interested and the fire of love burning should be your utmost priority.  Make him feel that he is the luckiest guy for having chosen you.  Here as some tips to keep your man’s interest:

1. Be confident about yourself. Seeing you looking good and feeling good about yourself will certainly make your man happy. He will also be confident about his feelings for you and his take on your relationship. Wear dresses that will make you look perfect on a date with him. Don’t overdo your make-up. Just make it light and simple. Natural beauty is still a guy’s preference. Maintain your youthfulness and femininity.

When around him, don’t pretend to be somebody else. Just be your natural self. A man would love seeing you do things for him even if you would look awkward. Singing his favorite song to him even if you’re out of tune will endear you to him more.

2. Make him feel important. Nothing will make a man more interested than knowing that he is important in your life, just as you are to him. Simple gestures like buying him things without him asking for it, preparing him dinner after a hard and tiring day at work, preparing his clothes for work in the morning, listening to him share his achievements of the day, laughing at his jokes, or surprising him on his birthday will surely make him want to be with you more.

3. Make him feel like a man. Boosting your man’s ego is definitely not wrong. Telling him that he looks awesome in his suit or that he stands out in a crowd will make him feel good about himself. It will also boost his ego knowing that you feel protected or secure when he’s around.

4. Keep him intrigued. Keep him interested in you by letting him realize that you are getting more fascinating every single day. Showing him what you are capable of, surprising him of your cooking abilities, dressing up for him, showing your love and care for him in different ways will definitely let him stay. Keeping him intrigued will want him to see you often to know more about you.

5. Know his likes. Your man will appreciate it if you spend time with him and do the things that he likes even if you may not like it at all or may be a bit clumsy with it. It also helps if you do a little research on what he likes and surprising him with them. Seeing you take an effort in wearing his favorite color, cooking his favorite food, playing his favorite sports, or singing his favorite tune will definitely keep his interest in you.

6. Love him but don’t be clingy. Your man is not a robot. He needs space and time for himself and for his guy friends. Allow him to go out once in a while with his friends and also enjoy some time with your own set of friends as well. Men love independent women, so have your sense of independence even if you’re in a relationship with him. But make sure that he still feels the need to protect and care for you. Assure him that nothing beats the feeling of security when you’re beside him. That way, he’ll keep his interest in you.

7. Be well-mannered. A man will surely love you more if he sees that you value people around you and if you show your kindness and grace. Your man will feel luckier knowing that he has beside him a well-mannered woman like you.

8. Give him a massage. Men love to be pampered too. Surprise him with a body or back massage after a long and hard day at work. It simply shows that you care for him a lot.

9. Stay fresh (hygiene, no grandma panties lol, get your eyebrows done, no do-rags)

10. Don’t listen to rumors.

11. Don’t give him a hard time, be supportive

12. Don’t talk him to death.

13. Don’t listen to your single girl-friends

14. ??? (Add this yourself using the comment box below)
There are many ways on how to keep your man interested. As long as you truly love and care for him, you will do things for him that will make him stay with you forever.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

For more tips on how to keep your man wanting you, please do click here to join our “I Love My Husband VIP Club”

How Living In Truth Can Help Grow Your Marriage And Relationship

I want to talk about how living in ‘truth’ can help grow your marriage/relationship. A big piece of the enlightenment I and Wifey have experienced over the years has come from an appreciation for living what is true in our lives, good or bad, and using it to grow our marriage. When two people aren’t allowing full expression of real feelings between them distance will grow. Quite possibly, one or both of you aren’t being what you really are. The relationship then becomes based on a false sense of who you believe you need to be to live up to the expectations of the other whether real or imagined.

Daring to live authentically is a value you need to embrace in order to bring peace to your life. Living authentically involves being consistently open to the risk of being judged, shamed, hurt or feeling inadequate for the love of your partner. When real love exists between two people, these fears are an illusion built up from the anxiety of being totally vulnerable to another person. When you witness each other living authentically you can’t help but nurture an overwhelming respect for one another because it takes courage to be honest, and courage is universally admirable.

When you are living the truth and are not made wrong by your partner for being compassionately honest or expressing all of who you are, it builds a trust of safety to continue the same way of relating with each other. You are planting seeds of growth in your bond together. With trust and respect as foundation, you now experience growing levels of intimacy. Isn’t intimacy what we are truly craving when we seek to spend our lives with someone? Don’t we want to be able to bare our souls to each other and feel appreciated and loved for who we really are? It is possible to create a relationship with that level of depth, but first you must decide that living emotionally in the grey middle ground isn’t enough anymore.

When you realize how empty living numb makes you feel and let that feeling resonate to the core of your soul, you begin to wake internally to a knowing that more is possible. Ask yourself, is this what a loving relationship should feel like? You will start feeling the truth that you deserve more than what you’ve settled for. Intense love, passion, caring, playfulness or whatever emotions you feel are missing are yours for the asking when you decide you must have them in your life.

When you approach the threshold of living the truth you may feel a crush of doubts about taking the next step to express your true self. You may begin to doubt that you have the inner strength that it takes to manifest what your heart desires. If you allow the doubts to control your behavior, it’s likely that you will lose the emotional momentum you’ve created. This is your pivotal point in the process of claiming your destiny together. What have you been withholding about who you are or what you value that makes you feel that you are living life smaller than you know in your heart you truly deserve? A decision to accept the familiarity of what has always been is a decision to go on living a false life together. Is that really what you want? You and me know, it is not…

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

Source: My Husband Is My Hero

Your Heart Towards Your Sweetheart: WANDER or FONDER?

Someone once said in the context of human relationships, that “Absence makes the heart grow
‘wander’ or ‘fonder'”.

Well…how true (and obvious)! Whilst this article is more suited to unmarried couples, people who are
married can equally learn a thing or two.

Okay, let’s consider for a moment the dynamics of your relationship(s) in and out of sight. Let’s
ponder on the inconsistent emotions that the absence or presence of each other’s company
generates. What have we discovered?

Truth is, the state of one’s heart can determine if a couple will wander or become fonder at the absence of each other. This is because ‘absence’ can work in equal or opposite directions as ‘presence’ – what makes the difference, I believe, is the state of the heart.

 

NOW HERE’S THE DEAL:

When two people are still trying to establish their love for each other, it is not advisable for them to engender constant absence from each other at that point (be it physical, mental or spiritual). For either of them may be inclined to grow ‘wander’ in their heart rather than ‘fonder”.

But if your love has already been well established and circumstances warrant that you be temporarily apart, then be apart if you must…for such separation, with an established love and affection, carries the ability to initiate fondness and possibly strengthen your love. Absence can, as much as presence, fuel someone’s feelings for another.

Having said that, caution must be taken by the temporarily parted couple in ensuring that neither of them is lackadaisical about the separation at any time; because though the strength of your love for each other may restrain your heart from going ‘awander’; an unduly prolonged and, if you like, purposeless separation may dehydrate existing affection, which not only threatens the ‘heart growing fonder’ bit but also potentially devoid the union of zest and life when eventually re-established.

Giving no place to frivolity, couples must see to it that they exploit not the absence of their partners. Unless when unavoidable, never test the strength of your love for your partner with an unrestrained and prolonged absence. Remember, even in each other’s lovey-dovey PRESENCE you can wander; how much more in each other’s undue ABSENCE.

“In the multitude of counsels, there is safety” (Pr. 24:5)…

Please don’t steer clear of good counsel for your relationship – firstly God’s, and then counsels from trusted friends and mentors. According to scripture, through ‘good counsel’ shall we wage our own war (mental, spiritual, physical and emotional war). Let us embrace wisdom in our relationships – remembering also that God’s wisdom, above any other, is supreme.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

 

Written by:
Lanre Bammeke (Freelance Writer)
United Kingdom.

Advice for a happy marriage – Tips That Worked For Her

For one to have a happy home you need patience, and prayers. I was always getting angry with my husband for not communicating to me while we have disagreements in the house. We are from different backgrounds I am a Kenyan and he is a Nigerian. I found out that what I viewed as marriage was not what I was passing through and this really used to torment me.

Being from different backgrounds and cultures doe not mean you cannot have a happy home, all it take as I said is patience and prayers. I used to prayer each time that God should change him and let him understand me. But one day I realized that the prayer that I should be making is that God change me, to have peace in my house.

I also check out different blogs and webpages regarding christian marriages and got a lot of advice.

Always seek for advice in the christian way for your marriage as this is the right advice. Worldly advice only brings pains and heartbreak.

Now my home is happy and thank God for such pages that are dedicated for marriages I can say that I love my husband 1000 times more than we met and him on the hand just adores me as now I make sure that we communicate well and he sees how much I have changed and this has given us peace thanks be to the mighty God.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

Contributed by a concerned fan.

How to Say You’re Sorry to Your Husband When the Marriage is in Real Trouble and Headed For Divorce

I sometimes hear from wives who are gearing up to make a last ditch effort to save their marriages. Many times, they are looking for the perfect magical words and phrases to use to tell their husband how sorry they are and to reassure him that things are going to change. Sometimes, they even ask me for help in writing a letter. I think that they probably intuitively know that they aren’t going to get very many chances at this because, since things have already deteriorated so much, their husband is no longer listening intently to them. Not only that, but he’s likely to take anything that they say with a grain of salt at this point.

And it’s for these reasons that the wife in this situation can be at a disadvantage. It’s common for her to feel as though she has to say something really attention getting or make over the top promises that can’t possibly be lasting. So, she’s set up to say or do something that’s going to make her be perceived any more negatively than she already is.

From my own experience and observation, I believe that there are very appropriate ways to say you’re sorry when you’re marriage is in real trouble. But, your actions are every bit as important as your words and many people forget that. I will discuss this in depth in the following article.

Be Careful That Your Husband Doesn’t Think You’re Sorry Only Because The Marriage Is In Trouble: I recently had a wife in this situation who wanted for me to listen to the scrip that she’d prepared. Her marriage was failing, at least in her mind, because she had taken her husband for granted and had treated him relatively badly over the past year. As she put it, she’d been “coasting” and neglecting him and now he was quite resentful about both of these things.

Her script was going to include phrases like “I”m sorry that you’re upset with me. I’m afraid our marriage is in trouble and you are considering divorcing me but I want to save our marriage because I don’t want to loose you.” Now, all of things were things were true, but I doubted the husband was going to react to this apology in the way that the wife was hoping for. The reason for this is because the wife’s apology was focused solely on her. She was telling the husband how his unhappiness in the marriage (and the potential ending of it) was going to affect her, not him.

When people accept an apology or forgive someone who is saying that they are sorry, this is largely due to the fact that they feel understood. But, the wife in this situation was not doing anything to convey that she understood how the husband was feeling and why he felt that way. She wasn’t outlining the things that she had done and why or how this was going to change.

Basically, she was proposing to tell her husband that she was sorry that her actions meant the marriage was in trouble. But, she wasn’t outlining which actions. Nor was she explaining how she planned to change her actions or how she planned to fix things. So, the husband had very little incentive to accept the apology. The wife was going to have a much better chance if she got into specifics and laid out a feasible plan as to how things were going to change (followed by the appropriate action, of course.)

The Things You Want To Say (And The Actions You Want To Take) To Convince Your Husband That You Are Truly Sorry: Of course, the exact words or phrases that you want to use in this situation depends upon the situation. In the situation that I’m talking about, the wife might want to say something like: “I want for you to know that I’m so very sorry for my behavior over this last year. I took you for granted and I treated you in a way that was the exact opposite of how I really feel. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world and I would never want you to think that I don’t deeply value and appreciate you or our marriage. I know that my actions have meant that our marriage is in trouble. And I don’t know what this means moving forward where you are concerned. But, I do know that on my end, you’re going to see some noticeable changes. My actions and behaviors are going to reflect how important you are to me. I know that you might doubt what I am saying right now. But I hope that my actions will prove to you that I’m completely sincere over time.”

Notice that the wife outlined what she had done. She stressed that this wasn’t fair to the husband and wasn’t based on her own feelings. She also reassured the husband that the situation was going to change. In short, in the first example, the apology was all about how the wife felt and it came off as somewhat selfish. But, in the second apology, the words were all about how the husband felt and how he was absolutely justified to feel this way but would be seeing some big changes. If you were the husband, which apology are you most likely to respond well to?

I firmly believe that most people would respond better the second. Try to remember that everyone wants to feel understood and validated and an apology is no exception to this. Of course, the words you say will eventually fall flat if you don’t back up those words with the appropriate actions and then follow up on what you’ve said. It’s only then that you’ll likely begin to gain some real ground so that your marriage recovers.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4556842

Some Practical Ways To Improve Communication With Our Spouse.

•Never make assumptions. If you aren’t certain about something talk about it with your spouse. Assumptions break down communication in a destructive way. You may or may not be right. So ask when you don’t know.

•Don’t just talk about serious things. Enjoy lighthearted conversations as well. Growing your friendship makes it easier to talk about more important issues.

•Talk about what God is doing in your life. I have found that many couples experience difficulty discussing spiritual matters. Prayer and reading together are a good way to open up the spiritual lines of communication.

•LISTEN! So often we are concerned about being heard. Are you really hearing what your spouse is trying to communicate, or are you too preoccupied with your own agenda?

•Ask for clarification. “This is what I am hearing you say. Do I understand you correctly?”

•Don’t sweep problems under the rug. Talk about it, even if it is uncomfortable.

•If an important discussion gets heated or difficult, take a break. Sometimes we need a time out to calm down and be able to look at the situation objectively. Make sure to come back and resolve the issue if it warrants it (sometimes a break lets you realize the whole conversation was silly). A mistake couples often make when they take a time out is failing to come back and resolve the issue.

•Don’t collect mistakes. Whenever your spouse is doing something that bothers you talk about it within a reasonable time frame. Don’t keep adding up everything they do, and one day bing them all in at once by informing your spouse of 34 things they are doing that grate on your nerves. Stay in the here and now.

•Don’t mind read or expect your spouse to read your mind. You spouse cannot be expected to know what you want unless you tell them. They cannot fix behaviors unless you let them know there is a problem.

•Don’t serve your spouse food on a garbage can lid. meaning When you approach your spouse with a problem or something that needs to be changed present the information in a positive way, not on a garbage can lid. Presentation counts for a lot. How appetizing is it if you have your favorite meal prepared and then it is served to you on a germ corvered garbage can lid? you come at your spouse blaming or condemning the conversation will probably not go well. Instead, approach them out of love and respect.

•Talk to your spouse the way you would like to be talked to. Call it the golden rule of communication…..

•Understand that communicating isn’t about being right. Sometimes it is good to ask ourselves, “Do we want to be right or do we want to be married?” Talk to fix, address, and change, not to win.

•Don’t just communicate about the bad. It is nice to be affirmed and told what you are doing right once and again too!

Everybody should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. –James 1:19

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.

21 Ways To Love Your Husband

1. Discover his favorite pet name and call him by that.
2. Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family.
3. DO not challenge him when he is hurt.
4. Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his sober moment with apology n explain why you behave that way that annoyed him.
5. Be quick to say ” I am sorry dear”. When ever u offend him petting,insist on his forgiveness and kiss him when he does.
6. Speak good of him before his Friends n siblings.
7. Honor his mother
8. Insist that he buys gift for his parents and so be sure that he will do same for your parents
9. Surprise him with his favorite dish especially when he has no enough money at hand
10. Do not allow the maid to serve him food when you are at home. Because u may lose him to them.
11. Give him a warm reception with an embrace when he returns, collect his luggage and help undress him.
12. Smile when you look at him and give him occasional pecks when you are out socially.
13. Praise him before your children sometimes.
14. Wash his back while he is in the tub or shower.
15. Put love note in his lunch box or briefcase.
16. Phone and tell him that you miss him.
17. Dial his number and on hearing “hello” just tell him I love you
18. If he is a public figure or politician gently wake him at the early hours of the morn n romance him to the point of demand. He will not be entice by any other woman that day.
19. Tell him how lucky you are to have him as your husband.
20. Give him a hug for no reason.
21. Appreciate God for the Adam of your life. Implement this law that every morn your family will wake up and pray. It do brings unity. Value your husband b’cos u may not have the 2nd chance to love him. Pray to God to protect him. If u practice all these, your husband will be afraid to cheat on u, even if he does his mind ‘ll not be at rest.

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then click ‘Like’  below to share with your friends and loved ones. Remember, sharing is caring.  Also don’t forget to let us know what you think using the comment box below.