I want to talk about how living in ‘truth’ can help grow your marriage/relationship. A big piece of the enlightenment I and Wifey have experienced over the years has come from an appreciation for living what is true in our lives, good or bad, and using it to grow our marriage. When two people aren’t allowing full expression of real feelings between them distance will grow. Quite possibly, one or both of you aren’t being what you really are. The relationship then becomes based on a false sense of who you believe you need to be to live up to the expectations of the other whether real or imagined.
Daring to live authentically is a value you need to embrace in order to bring peace to your life. Living authentically involves being consistently open to the risk of being judged, shamed, hurt or feeling inadequate for the love of your partner. When real love exists between two people, these fears are an illusion built up from the anxiety of being totally vulnerable to another person. When you witness each other living authentically you can’t help but nurture an overwhelming respect for one another because it takes courage to be honest, and courage is universally admirable.
When you are living the truth and are not made wrong by your partner for being compassionately honest or expressing all of who you are, it builds a trust of safety to continue the same way of relating with each other. You are planting seeds of growth in your bond together. With trust and respect as foundation, you now experience growing levels of intimacy. Isn’t intimacy what we are truly craving when we seek to spend our lives with someone? Don’t we want to be able to bare our souls to each other and feel appreciated and loved for who we really are? It is possible to create a relationship with that level of depth, but first you must decide that living emotionally in the grey middle ground isn’t enough anymore.
When you realize how empty living numb makes you feel and let that feeling resonate to the core of your soul, you begin to wake internally to a knowing that more is possible. Ask yourself, is this what a loving relationship should feel like? You will start feeling the truth that you deserve more than what you’ve settled for. Intense love, passion, caring, playfulness or whatever emotions you feel are missing are yours for the asking when you decide you must have them in your life.
When you approach the threshold of living the truth you may feel a crush of doubts about taking the next step to express your true self. You may begin to doubt that you have the inner strength that it takes to manifest what your heart desires. If you allow the doubts to control your behavior, it’s likely that you will lose the emotional momentum you’ve created. This is your pivotal point in the process of claiming your destiny together. What have you been withholding about who you are or what you value that makes you feel that you are living life smaller than you know in your heart you truly deserve? A decision to accept the familiarity of what has always been is a decision to go on living a false life together. Is that really what you want? You and me know, it is not…
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Source: My Husband Is My Hero