How often in our careers do we get to say “I love my job”? Well, I can honestly say that I love my job, largely because what I do is try and help other people love their jobs. That, for me, is truly thrilling.

It’s also an exciting time to be working in my industry, digital, where a new reality is emerging: Work is no longer a place. This has made a huge difference in how people not only experience their careers, but also in how they live their lives.

I recently presented about the future of work at DLDwomen in Munich. The event was co-chaired by Arianna Huffington herself and consisted of a gathering of women who are redefining industries and impacting lives across the globe. As part of my session, I joined Yahoo chief development officer Jackie Reses in a panel discussion moderated by the amazing Ursula von der Leyen, Germany’s Minister of Labour and Social Affairs. The discussion touched on critical questions, from the role of the aging workforce to how organizations can promote healthy work-life balance in an always-connected world.

Considering how rapidly the world of work is shifting — to date, businesses have already spent $1 billion hiring online freelancers on oDesk alone — we are compelled to think through not only what these changes will mean, but also how we can best position ourselves to be successful in this rapidly changing environment.

So, my DLDwomen presentation was titled, “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Women in the Future of Work.” Here’s what I said:

  1. Craft your personal brand
    Think of the mental shortcuts we all use to make sense of people we don’t know well. The digital artist. The crack coder. The genius with big data. With a growing number of free agents, personal brand is growing in importance, as managers seek people with the right characteristics for fluid projects and teams. Think of your personal brand this way: When somebody encounters you for the first time, what do you want them to think? What do you bring to the table? How do you want to be remembered?

Once you’ve identified your personal brand — or what you bring to the table — deliver on it consistently. Then promote it in places that matter to your audience: places like LinkedIn, Twitter, relevant blogs, live conferences and meetups.

  1. Focus on the 20%
    How much of what you do has a genuine impact? There is a big difference between progress and motion. In this increasingly results-based economy, impact is more important than ever.

How do you distinguish between progress and motion? Each situation is different, but applying a framework to force prioritization is an important step. I think of it this way: Roughly 20% of the effort gets 80% of the result. I continuously ask myself and my team: “Is this work part of the 20%?” When we use this test, we end up making a lot of adjustments.

  1. Prioritize people
    Right after business school I had two job offers. The first was with a database company for what felt like a lot of money. The second was for much less money, but at a company that had spun out of Apple, full of innovative people. It felt like a tough decision at the time, but I chose the Apple spinout, and I’m certain that doing so changed the course of my life. Not only did I learn from the best, but several team members went on to become Silicon Valley legends and led me to my subsequent opportunities.

Work with great people and they will open doors for you.

  1. Evolve yourself every day
    It used to be that you attended university and then you went to work. Now, the demand for skills is changing fast. No matter how experienced you are, you need to be nimble. With options like Coursera, General Assembly and more, successful people view education as a continuous, lifelong pursuit.
  1. Articulate solutions, not problems
    I recently hired three freelancers to compare wages for countries around the world. Why three? I needed a researcher for a bigger project and this little test would let me compare and choose the best person.

Only there was a problem with my assignment — each of the countries on my list approaches the calculation differently. All three freelancers noticed the problem right away. Two of the three asked how I’d like them to proceed. The third came back with a proposal for the best way to capture and compare the data I needed. Who do you think got the job?

It is good to flag problems early. But successful people proactively find a solution.

  1. Think outside the talent box
    This is for you entrepreneurs. When building your business, you no longer need to limit yourself to candidates within 50 miles or so of your office. We now have fresh ways to integrate talent. Using online hiring platforms like oDesk, you can think much more expansively. Do you only need a few hours a week of design? Consider hiring that talented part-time mom from Tennessee.
  1. Build a high-performance culture
    Wondering how to build a great culture with a virtual or blended team? Well, online hiring is no place for bad managers. If you are a bad manager, you should skip it. But, if you are a good manager, here is the trick: Take the very best practices you have for face-to-face management and implement them in spades. Here are a few examples: a. Write down crisp, performance-based objectives with clear, written deadlines
    b. Check in frequently
    c. Give clear feedback and rewards
    d. Treat virtual team members as kindly as people in your office

At my company we use practices like these to manage all of our team members, especially those who join us every day from around the world.

Your thoughts? Do you have any best practices you’d like to share as we move into the future of work?

Contributed by Jaleh Bisharat of oDESK

MOTIVATION: How the World’s Ugliest Woman has Inspired Millions


When she was growing up, Lizzie Velasquez was told that she was so ugly, and she should do the world a favour, put a gun to her head and kill herself.

I know what you’re wondering. Did she do it?

Well the answer is no. Of course not. That’s not her style.

Lizzie Velasquez stumbled across a video of herself on the internet, with 4 million views, titled “The World’s ugliest woman”. To her horror there were thousands of cruel comments saying “Kill it with fire.” And “put a gun to your head and kill yourself.”

It’s impossible to understand how this situation would make you feel as a human being and how this would make you view humanity at large. The last thing you’d think it would do is inspire you. But that’s what happened to Lizzie. She took those words and “used them as a ladder to climb up to her goals”, she used the negativity from these online bullies to ‘light her fire’ and drive her towards reaching her own goals of becoming a motivational speaker, to write a book, to have a family and to get a degree.

What an incredible human being.

Lizzie stared 4 million people in the face and told them they were wrong. She realized “My life is in my hands. I can choose to make this really good, or choose to make this really bad.” She chose the former.

A rare syndrome

You see when Lizzie was born she was diagnosed with a very rare syndrome that means she is unable to gain weight. In-fact , she has never weighed more than 29kg and has zero % body fat.

Lizzie tells her incredibly inspiring story on TED X where she cheerfully bounces on stage and proceeds to rattle off the many benefits of her disorder. That’s’ right she focuses on the benefits– not how hard her life has been, or how unhappy she is or how limited she has been by such a debilitating syndrome.

And she does it with a light-heartedness that’s contagious…cracking jokes about how cheap it is to pay for just one contact lens instead of two and how she can easily ignore people who annoy her by placing them in view of her eye that has no vision. “They literally disappear!” she claims excitedly. Remember – this is the woman who was told by 4 million people that she was the ugliest woman in the world. Unlike most of us with problems that are highly irrelevant in the grand scheme of life, she really had something to wail about. Yet she chose not to.

The realisation of being different

In her TED talk, Lizzie candidly talks about her first day at school when she first became aware that she was different to the other kids. She describes their reaction to her as if they were looking at a monster, and her initial disappointment about how she was treated so differently.

“I’ve had a really difficult life, but that’s ok. Things have been scary, things have been tough. But my parents were my inspiration. They told me: ‘This syndrome will not define who you are. Go to school pick your head up, smile, continue to be yourself and people will start to see that you’re just like them.’ So that’s what I did.“

Lizzie skillfully keeps her talk light and breezy while she confronts what must have been a very painful period in her life. She describes how as a child every day she would look in the mirror and pray that the next day she would look different. Yet each day she would be disappointed all over again.

When everything changed

Yet it was that fateful day when she saw the video of herself online with 4 million views and the title Worlds Ugliest woman that really became the turning point for her. It forced her to choose between a life where she defined herself purely based on the way she looked, or a life where she would focus on what she did have.  Something clicked inside her head. She realized:

“My life is in my hands. I can choose to make this really good, or choose to make this really bad. I can open my eyes and focus on the things I do have and make those things the things that define me. I can’t see out of one eye, but I can see out of the other. I might get sick a lot, but I have really nice hair. Am I gonna let the people who said “Kill it with fire” define me? Am I gonna let the people who called me a monster define me? No. I’m going to let my goals and my success and my accomplishments define me.”

So Lizzie, took that negativity and used it as a catalyst to motivate her. She worked her butt off to make her dreams come true. She decided that the best way she could get back at all of those people was to show them that she could use those negative things they called her as a ladder to climb up to her goals.

And as I was watching this truly beautiful woman share her story of courage and inspiration it humbled me to think:

“Wow, if Lizzie can do that, if she can overcome that situation and all the time with a huge smile on her face, then what is stopping anyone else from doing the same?”

What is stopping you from achieving whatever you want to in your life? So you might have a few hurdles or challenges to overcome?! Are they anywhere near as hard as what Lizzie Velasquez had to face? I’m guessing not.

So all that’s left is one question:

What are you waiting for?

Because if Lizzie can do it, so can you.

Lessons from Lizzie Velasquez

  1. First take a look at how you define yourself? What things do you focus on? Your appearance, your relationships, your faults?
  2. Note if your define yourself in a positive or negative way? Are you happy with the way you currently define yourself? Does it bring out the best in you?
  3. If the answer is no, take some time to re-define yourself in a way that is positive and will enhance your life
  4. Take note of any challenges, negativity or criticism and remember Lizzie. Choose to use this negativity as the fuel to fire you up and keep going!
  5. Focus on what you do have, commit to your new definition of you and go after it right now! If Lizzie can do it, so can you.

Watch Lizzie’s story on TED here:




I thought it would be fitting for us to take a moment and celebrate being a woman. Here are a few short steps you can take.

  1. Celebrate your achievements. There’s a perception that women can be more humble about their achievements than men – think about what you’ve achieved in your life and take a few moments to pat yourself on the back! You deserve it!
  2. Reach out to another woman in need. Consider if there is anyone you know in a work environment or your community who could do with some help? What can you do to support them?
  3. Raise the debate. Make a point of discussing the issues surrounding women of the world. If these topics stay hidden under the radar, it will be very difficult to forge changes ahead.
  4. Find a mentor or coach. Spend some time finding someone who you can ask to be your mentor or coach. Select someone who you believe aligns with your values and someone who you respect.
  5. Do it for the girls. Decide right now to dedicate your life to be a working example of a strong, successful woman. Get focused on your goals and just go for it!  You have the opportunity to inspire so many other young women just by committing to your own achievements.

By MacHenry Churchill



6 years ago today at this very time, I & @thisiscornelius had our first conversation after church. We knew within 15 minutes that we were going to get married one day. We attended the same church, spoke in passing… And walked by each other for 3 years without having a 1:1 conversation. God has a sense of humor because I was in a place where I didn’t want a man because I was tired of “pretend christian” men coming at me with their carnal mindsets & getting me all messed up (my fault as well). I told God I was fine with being single for another 10 years because HE was all I needed. God had another plan & that was purpose. He brought me with @thisiscornelius not so I can flash my wedding ring but to take on 10,000 with him – to eventually start ministries, a church & to push each other closer to Jesus. It wasn’t about having a pair a thighs in my bed, God had eternity in mind. So, my “Adam” woke up out of nowhere & I didn’t have to have sex with him to catch him. So, don’t feel like you have to settle for some man that wants to feel all over you & pressure you to do things that convict you! We waited to kiss until our wedding day & I walked down the aisle 1 year & 8 months later. Feeling valued. Feeling peace. Feeling like I conquered that season with the help of the Holy Spirit. Dysfunctional relationships WAS my story before my husband. Thank God for redemption. YOU can do things HIS way, He gives second chances. God still honors holiness. 6 years down, a lifetime to go.  

#‎TheLindseys ‪#‎MyLoveStory



Are there fundamental differences between a girl and a woman? Some people think so. Others think not. Some say a girl is the immature female while a woman is the very mature female. Yet, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice versa.

It is said that some people regardless of their age will never really grow up. There are girls of 40 and women of 20, we hear. Well, if you‘re still wondering what to think, here are some pointers.

  1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
  2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
  3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.
  4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.
  5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
  6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.
  7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous
  8. A girl does not respect her body.  She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.
  9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.
  10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities in a man above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available.

Now, a lot of these differences reflect core choices and how a lady lives out her life on a daily basis. So evidently, girls who realize that there’s a woman in them grow up intentionally and live wiser.

Do you agree with the list above? Do you have any more tips you will like to share? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. 





In part one of this article we started looking at how we can learn to express our “Negative Feelings” in a constructive manner. It is very important to express negative feelings because it helps couples to adapt and adjust to each other’s specific needs. If we do not express our negative feelings and decide to bottle it up, it will do more harm than good. It will build up tension within us just like an old fashioned pressure cooker.


Let us illustrate this with the example of Andrew and Bekky. Andrew has the unfortunate habit of expressing his negative feelings in a rather violent way. Whenever his wife got him angry, he would lash out at her with such verbal venom and with such hateful face that often left Bekky terrified. One day after such an outburst, he went to his wife the following day in a sober mood to apologise. Sulking in shame, he pleaded and promised his wife that he would never repeat such embarrassing outburst.


Andrew kept his promise, or so he imagined. He kept swallowing up every comment from Bekky which he perceived as being both disrespectful and demeaning. Then one day, he had it. One day as he was in the kitchen, Bekky “stepped on his toe” by running him down in a rather unfair manner.

Andrew lost all control. He said nothing, but gently walked over to the sink, grabbed a dishwashing liquid and in an uncontrolled fury poured it all into a pot of soup Bekky was preparing and he hurriedly stormed out of the house.


Where did Andrew get it all wrong? Andrew erroneously imagined that he can achieve peace in his marriage by restraining all of his feelings and not speaking out. Even after several months, Andrew was still struggling to pick up the pieces of the shattered trust and peace between him and Bekky.


Therefore, what would you say Andrew did wrong? What were his mistakes? How should Aaron have communicated his hurt feelings without hurting Bekky so badly?


In part 3 of this series; we’ll examine 4 tips and tricks to communicate your negative feelings to your spouse without hurting him or her.



Effective Communication is a very essential ingredient in any happy marriage or relationship. The way couples interact in the area of time spent together or apart, the question of money, health, children, family, friends, commitment, trust and intimacy, etc goes a long way to determine if they would have a lasting or happy marriage. But there are times in every marriage when spouses feel that they are not communicating effectively with each other.


This is quite obvious when couples are always quarrelling or always getting into fights and verbal wars. This situation also expresses itself when one or both spouses feels misunderstood, unappreciated, disregarded or even disrespected.


When couples have a challenge with effectively communicating with their significant other especially when they feel that their basic needs are not met in their marriage or relationship, they may find that mastering one or more of four communication skills will go a long way towards chatting the course for a happy and successful marriage.


When one of this skills is lacking in your marriage it will seriously affect what you and your spouse can achieve in a positive way and when a marriage is deficient in more than one of these, that marriage would have been placed within the risk zone.

My Husband Lost His Job


“Negative feelings” is any feeling that makes you feel bad or uptight or angry. They are feelings that make you feel anyway but good. These may include feelings of resentment, bitterness, disapproval or disappointment. At one time other the other it may be necessary for you to express negative feelings to your spouse. It is important to learn how to express these emotions to your spouse in a constructive way. It could be quite destructive to your marriage and to your entire family if you were to express your negative emotions in unrestrained harsh words. Even when you have expressed yourself in a controlled manner but your expressions are laden with ridicule, sarcasm and verbal assaults, the communication will be counter-productive.

(Watch out for Part 2 of this article)


How to keep your man

Everyone has got a dream, including the people that have s*x behind the fence, in parties and clubs- that might be their own dream. They may not desire a glorious marriage ceremony. Buy why will you prefer a fake lifestyle?


I have seen and heard ladies of low class with no dreams or aspiration say this- “I want a tall, fair/dark, handsome, rich/wealthy man, no mother-I can cope with his father or put him where he belongs. He must be related to a politician in government. He must have charisma and good command of English… He must be very good in bed too…”


Anytime I listen to those babbling wishes from ladies who have no focus for their life. My question is “what will you add to that man, when he has all it takes. Some ladies keep saying they prefer a married man because they are rich, neat caring and responsible. Excuse me, most good men you see around are a product of a good woman in one corner. Go and build a home too.


As a matter of fact, if you are a man, do not go for those kind of Ladies. They are lazy-thief-gold diggers. It is fine to desire good things but not on selfish bases. Another question is- if a man you want possess all that you want, do you possess all it takes to have a good man? Most marriages that start on paparazzi level, usually end on Zero level. The beauty and secret of a lasting marriage is- starting small and starting well. I have seen couples who spent millions on a marriage and ends it in less than six(6) months.


So, wake up from your dream and face the reality. Your best will come, but might not look like what you want-only a woman of virtue can see the hidden treasure in a man that has it! You can create your own Dream man by becoming the Dream woman you expect your Dream man to have.


The fact that you are ripe for marriage doesn’t mean you should jump into the arms of the next available monster in the form of a man, simply because of the desperation for the title of “MRS”. In this day and age, it’s advisable that ladies be Independent because, no man wants to have a liability for a wife anymore. If you don’t have a source of livelihood, please get one asap before vying for marriage. And when you eventually decide to get married, know what you want in him! As a woman in this day and age, you must understand that:

1. There is an inner beauty about a lady who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of achieving anything she puts her mind to. There is a stunning beauty in the strength and determination of a lady who follows her own God given path, a woman who isn’t easily thrown off by obstacles along the way.

2. There is a beauty about a lady whose Confidence comes from her wealth of experience as she knows she can fall, pick herself back up, dust her shoulders and move on.

3. There’s nothing more attractive than a lady who carries herself like a Queen and wears her confidence like a Crown. Royalty or not, Dignity and Respect are every lady’s birth right. It’s a man’s job to respect a woman but, it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect. So my dear young ladies, please know thy worth!


Once you know your worth, then…. you are in a position to ask a man WHAT CAN HE DO FOR YOU, THAT YOU CAN’T DO FOR YOURSELF?

If you are paying your own bills and taking care of your household without the help of any man or woman for that matter; then you are in a good position to ask him, “What are you bringing to the table?” At this juncture, I know most of you will think I’m actually talking about, how much the man has got in his bank account…..honestly you are so wrong. LOL!!! Okay, let me quickly correct your thoughts by clearly stating what I mean by your asking him such a question. . . I am not referring to money.

Young lady, you need something more. Something more assuring, dependable, humble, strong, matured and everlasting.

1. You need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies, Deceit, Chauvinism and game-playing are not my idea of a Strong, Mature, Assuring, Humble and Dependable man.

2. You need a man who is not only mature and focused, but a man who is diligently striving for excellence in all ramifications of life. Right now, i know the men will be anxious to know what exactly i mean by this. Oh well……. Young lady

3. You need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because, you need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

4.You need someone who is striving for spiritual excellence because, you don’t need to be unevenly yoked….Believers mixed with Unbelievers is actually a great recipe for disaster. 

5. You need a man who is striving for financial excellence because, you don’t need a financial burden.

6.You need someone who is sensitive enough to understand exactly what you go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep you grounded, without appearing to be directly or indirectly domineering.

7.You actually need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider for the lives entrusted to him by God.

8. You need someone whom you don’t have to be forced to respect because, he is mature enough to always respect himself, hence you can always respect him. In order to be submissive, you must respect him. You cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I know you have no problem whatsoever with, being submissive…he just has to be worthy of your being submissive.

And by the way, you should not be looking for him…HE WILL FIND YOU. He will recognize himself in you. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he naturally, will always be drawn to you. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. You can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. Right now, I know the guys will be whining that, the ladies are just asking for A LOT.

How To Improve Your Sex AppealThe honest truth is WE LADIES ARE WORTH ALOT.



Generally, the word ‘Mugu’ is a Nigerian slang that is usually used to refer to someone who is regarded as a fool, foolish or one who has been deceived and totally taken in by another who regards himself as being smarter than the supposed ‘mugu’.


Bringing this to the context of relationships, we herby ask, who is the Mugu?


The truth of it all is there are no ‘Mugus’ anywhere. The Guy or woman you call ‘Mugu’ is sometimes the person who loves you so much to the extent of doing very ‘stupid’ things without even realizing it….

Sometimes I get really very irritated when I hear girls call men who do nice things for them Mugu… He calls you up every minute of the day to find out what you are doing, he remembers to send you recharge cards credit which you never use to call him, he buys very nice clothes, wants a nice hair do on you, loves your family like his, and even ready to play by your no sex rule… Yet, you ignore him for your so called boyfriend who never cares if you exist.


He flashes your line and you call back, you are his ATM, chef, laundry, and his sex machine. He calls you a bore in bed after subjecting you to rigorous exercises in the name of satisfying his insatiable libido and worse still without protection. When he finds out that you are pregnant, he finds a flimsy excuse to leave you and you go through hell trying to kill your child. He comes back after a while to ask for your forgiveness and you accept him and start the process again. He is never ready for marriage, even though he has a steady job. Who then is the ‘Mugu’?


A lot of girls have lost life time opportunities in the name of this ‘Mugu’ saga! They love their darlyn boyfriend so much because he probably dresses well, speaks well and loves sex a great deal. They forget that those qualities do not keep a marriage… If perhaps, you find a good man who does not dress well, you can teach him and tush him to that level you want. No one is perfect in the long run…


Guys, you are not exempted. You call her ‘Mugu’ because she is always at your beck and call, she is respectful, humble and homely, honours your mother even more than hers, takes care of your siblings, helps you a great deal financially, yet you spend all the money she gives you on a girlfriend who you are trying so hard to impress, the one who wants money, money and more money, the one who treats your family like thrash..When it’s time for marriage, you call her old. Mr, didn’t you know how old she was before you started dating her? What taste are you even talking about? Why did you stop her from getting married if you knew she wasn’t up to your taste? She has become a ‘Mugu’ because you have seen big boobs and fine ass. You forget that beauty fades with time and does not keep a marriage…


Stop this ‘Mugu’ thing today so that you don’t become a ‘Mugu’ in the long run. If you don’t appreciate a man or woman’s dress sense, accent, or physique, then leave them or their pocket alone. Another person will love him that way. Who you reject is actually another person’s king or queen!

 Let the reason you love anyone be genuine…Marriage is serious business!!!! Shine your eyes…