Talk About Ladies

We Discuss Women And Solve Problems Together!

Talk About Ladies - We Discuss Women And Solve Problems Together!

ARE YOU A WOMAN OR A GIRL?

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Are there fundamental differences between a girl and a woman? Some people think so. Others think not. Some say a girl is the immature female while a woman is the very mature female. Yet, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice versa.

It is said that some people regardless of their age will never really grow up. There are girls of 40 and women of 20, we hear. Well, if you‘re still wondering what to think, here are some pointers.

  1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.
  2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).
  3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.
  4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.
  5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.
  6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.
  7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous
  8. A girl does not respect her body.  She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.
  9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.
  10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities in a man above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available.

Now, a lot of these differences reflect core choices and how a lady lives out her life on a daily basis. So evidently, girls who realize that there’s a woman in them grow up intentionally and live wiser.

Do you agree with the list above? Do you have any more tips you will like to share? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

4 EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS YOU MUST LEARN TO TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE (Part 1)

Effective Communication is a very essential ingredient in any happy marriage or relationship. The way couples interact in the area of time spent together or apart, the question of money, health, children, family, friends, commitment, trust and intimacy, etc goes a long way to determine if they would have a lasting or happy marriage. But there are times in every marriage when spouses feel that they are not communicating effectively with each other.

 

This is quite obvious when couples are always quarrelling or always getting into fights and verbal wars. This situation also expresses itself when one or both spouses feels misunderstood, unappreciated, disregarded or even disrespected.

 

When couples have a challenge with effectively communicating with their significant other especially when they feel that their basic needs are not met in their marriage or relationship, they may find that mastering one or more of four communication skills will go a long way towards chatting the course for a happy and successful marriage.

 

When one of this skills is lacking in your marriage it will seriously affect what you and your spouse can achieve in a positive way and when a marriage is deficient in more than one of these, that marriage would have been placed within the risk zone.

My Husband Lost His Job

1. LEARN TO EXPRESS NEGATIVE FEELINGS IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER

“Negative feelings” is any feeling that makes you feel bad or uptight or angry. They are feelings that make you feel anyway but good. These may include feelings of resentment, bitterness, disapproval or disappointment. At one time other the other it may be necessary for you to express negative feelings to your spouse. It is important to learn how to express these emotions to your spouse in a constructive way. It could be quite destructive to your marriage and to your entire family if you were to express your negative emotions in unrestrained harsh words. Even when you have expressed yourself in a controlled manner but your expressions are laden with ridicule, sarcasm and verbal assaults, the communication will be counter-productive.

(Watch out for Part 2 of this article)

STRICTLY FOR SINGLES CORNER…WE LADIES ARE WORTH ALOT

The fact that you are ripe for marriage doesn’t mean you should jump into the arms of the next available monster in the form of a man, simply because of the desperation for the title of “MRS”. In this day and age, it’s advisable that ladies be Independent because, no man wants to have a liability for a wife anymore. If you don’t have a source of livelihood, please get one asap before vying for marriage. And when you eventually decide to get married, know what you want in him! As a woman in this day and age, you must understand that:

1. There is an inner beauty about a lady who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of achieving anything she puts her mind to. There is a stunning beauty in the strength and determination of a lady who follows her own God given path, a woman who isn’t easily thrown off by obstacles along the way.

2. There is a beauty about a lady whose Confidence comes from her wealth of experience as she knows she can fall, pick herself back up, dust her shoulders and move on.

3. There’s nothing more attractive than a lady who carries herself like a Queen and wears her confidence like a Crown. Royalty or not, Dignity and Respect are every lady’s birth right. It’s a man’s job to respect a woman but, it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect. So my dear young ladies, please know thy worth!

 

Once you know your worth, then…. you are in a position to ask a man WHAT CAN HE DO FOR YOU, THAT YOU CAN’T DO FOR YOURSELF?

If you are paying your own bills and taking care of your household without the help of any man or woman for that matter; then you are in a good position to ask him, “What are you bringing to the table?” At this juncture, I know most of you will think I’m actually talking about, how much the man has got in his bank account…..honestly you are so wrong. LOL!!! Okay, let me quickly correct your thoughts by clearly stating what I mean by your asking him such a question. . . I am not referring to money.

Young lady, you need something more. Something more assuring, dependable, humble, strong, matured and everlasting.

1. You need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies, Deceit, Chauvinism and game-playing are not my idea of a Strong, Mature, Assuring, Humble and Dependable man.

2. You need a man who is not only mature and focused, but a man who is diligently striving for excellence in all ramifications of life. Right now, i know the men will be anxious to know what exactly i mean by this. Oh well……. Young lady

3. You need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because, you need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

4.You need someone who is striving for spiritual excellence because, you don’t need to be unevenly yoked….Believers mixed with Unbelievers is actually a great recipe for disaster. 

5. You need a man who is striving for financial excellence because, you don’t need a financial burden.

6.You need someone who is sensitive enough to understand exactly what you go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep you grounded, without appearing to be directly or indirectly domineering.

7.You actually need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider for the lives entrusted to him by God.

8. You need someone whom you don’t have to be forced to respect because, he is mature enough to always respect himself, hence you can always respect him. In order to be submissive, you must respect him. You cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I know you have no problem whatsoever with, being submissive…he just has to be worthy of your being submissive.

And by the way, you should not be looking for him…HE WILL FIND YOU. He will recognize himself in you. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he naturally, will always be drawn to you. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. You can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. Right now, I know the guys will be whining that, the ladies are just asking for A LOT.

How To Improve Your Sex AppealThe honest truth is WE LADIES ARE WORTH ALOT.

HEALTH TIPS- ASTHMA

Asthma is an Acute or Chronic obstructive airway disease due to swelling or inflammation which makes the airway to be hypersensitive to irritations and allergies. As inflammation increases, there’s narrowing of the airways reducing the amount of air that goes to or comes out of the Lungs leading to Symptoms such as Wheezing(a hissing sound while breathing), chest tightness and cough. People who suffer from Asthma are known as Asthmatics and the attack is usually worse at night. Major causes of Asthmatic attacks are smoke, fumes, dust or dirt, powder and cement particles, allergies, cold temperature, stress, collagens, flowers, some insects especially Cockroaches, and exercises. Asthmatic attacks can be fatal as there’s Respiratory failure due to:

1. Production of more mucus in the airways and atimes form mucus plug thereby undermining the airflow.

2. Less air is able to pass through the airways.

3. The respiratory muscles around the airway tighten up and narrow the airway.

4. Increased inflammation of the airways continues.

PREVENTION AND MANAGEMENT TIPS

1. Prevention of attacks is to know early that you are Asthmatic.

2. You will need to see your Doctor regularly.

3. Control your Asthma by going about with your Inhaler.

4. Avoid the causes mentioned above or those peculiar to you, that includes avoiding things you are allergic to.

Women-issueAsthma is incurable but with good treatment or management, an Asthmatic patient can live a normal and active life

WHO IS A MUGU?

 

Generally, the word ‘Mugu’ is a Nigerian slang that is usually used to refer to someone who is regarded as a fool, foolish or one who has been deceived and totally taken in by another who regards himself as being smarter than the supposed ‘mugu’.

 

Bringing this to the context of relationships, we herby ask, who is the Mugu?

 

The truth of it all is there are no ‘Mugus’ anywhere. The Guy or woman you call ‘Mugu’ is sometimes the person who loves you so much to the extent of doing very ‘stupid’ things without even realizing it….

Sometimes I get really very irritated when I hear girls call men who do nice things for them Mugu… He calls you up every minute of the day to find out what you are doing, he remembers to send you recharge cards credit which you never use to call him, he buys very nice clothes, wants a nice hair do on you, loves your family like his, and even ready to play by your no sex rule… Yet, you ignore him for your so called boyfriend who never cares if you exist.

 

He flashes your line and you call back, you are his ATM, chef, laundry, and his sex machine. He calls you a bore in bed after subjecting you to rigorous exercises in the name of satisfying his insatiable libido and worse still without protection. When he finds out that you are pregnant, he finds a flimsy excuse to leave you and you go through hell trying to kill your child. He comes back after a while to ask for your forgiveness and you accept him and start the process again. He is never ready for marriage, even though he has a steady job. Who then is the ‘Mugu’?

 

A lot of girls have lost life time opportunities in the name of this ‘Mugu’ saga! They love their darlyn boyfriend so much because he probably dresses well, speaks well and loves sex a great deal. They forget that those qualities do not keep a marriage… If perhaps, you find a good man who does not dress well, you can teach him and tush him to that level you want. No one is perfect in the long run…

 

Guys, you are not exempted. You call her ‘Mugu’ because she is always at your beck and call, she is respectful, humble and homely, honours your mother even more than hers, takes care of your siblings, helps you a great deal financially, yet you spend all the money she gives you on a girlfriend who you are trying so hard to impress, the one who wants money, money and more money, the one who treats your family like thrash..When it’s time for marriage, you call her old. Mr, didn’t you know how old she was before you started dating her? What taste are you even talking about? Why did you stop her from getting married if you knew she wasn’t up to your taste? She has become a ‘Mugu’ because you have seen big boobs and fine ass. You forget that beauty fades with time and does not keep a marriage…

 

Stop this ‘Mugu’ thing today so that you don’t become a ‘Mugu’ in the long run. If you don’t appreciate a man or woman’s dress sense, accent, or physique, then leave them or their pocket alone. Another person will love him that way. Who you reject is actually another person’s king or queen!

 Let the reason you love anyone be genuine…Marriage is serious business!!!! Shine your eyes…

 

 Love

 

20 Things Women Should Never Ever Do – Your Man Will Love You More For This!

20 donts for womenWe know that all you ladies wanna look fly but today we bring you the 20 things women should never, ever do:

1. Do not shave off your eyebrows only to redraw them with a pencil… it makes no sense

2. Do not put on too much make up, you end up looking like you came out of the make-up factory.

3. Do not wear a vest or sleeveless top without shaving your armpits or without a bra underneath

4. Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off on its own, there’s a reason why they sell nail polish remover.

5. If you can’t afford good quality weaves, don’t bother.

6. Do not do artificial nails that makes you look like a drag queen, simple is always sexy.

7. See-through leggings or a top used as a dress when you are out in public is a hell-to-the-no!

8. Never do things for a man with a hope of getting something in return, expectations are dangerous. Do it because you simply want to.

9. Never contradict what your man says – in public.

10. Never stalk the man that left you for the other woman

11. Do not share your best friend’s personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry.

12. Women should never act on distress in relationships like checking your man’s phone, nagging him to death, and acting like a paranoid freak. You will simply release him to someone else by doing so.

13. Never dish out your entire family drama on a first date. The guy just wants to know about you.

14. Stop obsessing over your body. It’s good to eat healthy and work out but let’s leave it at that.

15. Never over-accessorize. Stop looking like a Christmas tree.

16. Never leave home without lip-gloss, your phone and most of all, your dignity.

17. Never leave your used sanitary towel in the toilet for the next person to see. Women please!

18. Never wear very high heels if you can’t do the Naomi Campbell walk. You look like a drunk grasshopper.

19. Never wear short skirts and low cut tops when off to an interview. You will create the wrong impression.

20. Forgetting to add your own donts using the comment box below.

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WHEN IMMORAL ACT IS CELEBRATED AND GLORY GIVEN TO GOD!

Sexual ImmoralityWhen the BIG BROTHER AFRICA SHOW is finally over and all those who have participated, exposing their nudity and committing immoral acts in public to the full glare of the whole world, walk on the street, they automatically become role models unto your children, cooperate bodies will endorse them awarding them contracts worth of millions of cash just to appear on their brand; governments across Africa will make them ambassadors; the religious homes will organize a special thanksgiving for them; they suddenly become heroes for appearing nude on TV..

You encourage your daughters and sons to brace up for the next BIG BROTHER AFRICA SHOW, motivate them to enter into the competition, but condemn the prostitutes and those who dress provocatively in public. You tell them how the life of those wearing clothes exposing their nudity are condemnable and how such people will perish in hell. But because huge cash is involved if they participate in THE BIG BROTHER SHOW, exposing their body it becomes “just a competition” and as such nothing is wrong with it so long it will bring you fame and money.

Glory will be given to God for allowing your children participate, exposing their body and winning the ultimate price. It becomes the Lord’s doing and anyone who condemns your children’s act during the competition is mere jealous and an evil person who doesn’t wish you and your family well.

The African society is in complete mess, we’ve killed our culture and tradition and have chosen to keep confusing ourselves with religion. Religion has become a bias tool where fame and riches can be justified through it so long thanksgiving is given unto God for allowing you victorious in immoral competitions and enriching yourself through illegal means.

Sin is no longer sin if it’s rated 18+ and restricted to certain viewers. It is justifiable and we can encourage it. That is the state we now find ourselves in and increasingly there’s nothing wrong in viewing such programmes where nudity and immoral act are been exposed on TV and since it’s on TV it should just be viewed like every other entertainment program..

WHAT THEN SHOULDN’T WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN, HOW DO WE DEFINE SIN TO THEM WHEN WE CAN JUSTIFY IT WHEN IT INVOLVES FAME AND MONEY? WHAT LESSONS SHOULD THEY LEARN AND WHAT LESSONS SHOULDN’T THEY.. When we’ve chosen to condemn what we feel should be condemned and uphold that which we should have condemned but uphold it because fame and money are involved.

Written by: Chizoba Okagba

12 Ways To Show Love To Your Husband ~ By Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya.

ways-to-love-your-husbandIt is a must read for women who want to keep there husband I came across this and found it so interesting to share.

1. Discover his favourite pet name and call him by that.

2. Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family.

3. Do not challenge him when he is hurt.

4. Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his sober moment with apology and explain why you behave that way that annoyed him.

5. Be quick to say ” I am sorry dear”. When ever you offend him pettingly, insist on his forgiveness, appreciate and kiss him when he does.

6. Speak good of him before his Friends and siblings.

7. Honour his mother

8. Insist that he buys gift for his parents and so be sure that he will do same for your parents

9. Surprise him with his favorite dish especially when he has no enough money at hand and never delay his food.

10. Do not allow the maid to serve him food when you are at home. Because u may lose him to them.

11. Give him a warm reception with an embrace when he returns, collect his luggage and help undress him.

12. Smile when you look at him and give him occasional pecks when you are out socially. 13. Praise him before your children sometimes.

14. Wash his back while he is in the tub or shower.

15. Put love note in his lunch box or briefcase.

16. Phone and tell him that you miss him.

17. Dial his number and on hearing “hello” just tell him I love you.

18. If he is a public figure or politician gently wake him at the early hours of the morning and romance him to the point of demand. He will not be entice by any other woman that day.

19. Tell him how lucky you are to have him as your husband.

20. Give him a hug for no reason.

21. Appreciate God for the Adam of your life.

22. Always remember to pray for him. 23. Implement this law that every morning your family will wake up and pray…

 

Discover 5 Deadly Mistakes That Will Kill Your Sex Life & Marriage. Click here!

P.S If you enjoyed reading these recommendations then tell us one lesson you’ve learnt from it using the comment box below.

 

Fun Things To Do With Your Spouse That Won’t Cost a Dime

WOW!

Today, I wish to blog about something not too serious…

Was just wondering if there are things that won’t cost money, that couples could do to have fun.

I’ve asked members of our newsletter here  to contribute to this some days back…and some of them sent in the following.

 

Fun Things To Do With Your Spouse That Won’t Cost a Dime

1. Make up the bed together.
2. Make Breakfast together.
3. Wash the dishes together.
4. Take out the trash together.
5. Sweep the floor together.
6. Mop the floor together.
7. Vacuum the carpets together.
8. Put the laundry in the washing machine together.
9. Dry and pack up the dishes together.
10. Hang the laundry on the line together.

Feel free to add more 2 or 3 using the comment box below. We will love to hear from you.

 

Cheers.

 

Thanks