Talk About Ladies

We Discuss Women And Solve Problems Together!

Talk About Ladies - We Discuss Women And Solve Problems Together!





In part one of this article we started looking at how we can learn to express our “Negative Feelings” in a constructive manner. It is very important to express negative feelings because it helps couples to adapt and adjust to each other’s specific needs. If we do not express our negative feelings and decide to bottle it up, it will do more harm than good. It will build up tension within us just like an old fashioned pressure cooker.


Let us illustrate this with the example of Andrew and Bekky. Andrew has the unfortunate habit of expressing his negative feelings in a rather violent way. Whenever his wife got him angry, he would lash out at her with such verbal venom and with such hateful face that often left Bekky terrified. One day after such an outburst, he went to his wife the following day in a sober mood to apologise. Sulking in shame, he pleaded and promised his wife that he would never repeat such embarrassing outburst.


Andrew kept his promise, or so he imagined. He kept swallowing up every comment from Bekky which he perceived as being both disrespectful and demeaning. Then one day, he had it. One day as he was in the kitchen, Bekky “stepped on his toe” by running him down in a rather unfair manner.

Andrew lost all control. He said nothing, but gently walked over to the sink, grabbed a dishwashing liquid and in an uncontrolled fury poured it all into a pot of soup Bekky was preparing and he hurriedly stormed out of the house.


Where did Andrew get it all wrong? Andrew erroneously imagined that he can achieve peace in his marriage by restraining all of his feelings and not speaking out. Even after several months, Andrew was still struggling to pick up the pieces of the shattered trust and peace between him and Bekky.


Therefore, what would you say Andrew did wrong? What were his mistakes? How should Aaron have communicated his hurt feelings without hurting Bekky so badly?


In part 3 of this series; we’ll examine 4 tips and tricks to communicate your negative feelings to your spouse without hurting him or her.



Effective Communication is a very essential ingredient in any happy marriage or relationship. The way couples interact in the area of time spent together or apart, the question of money, health, children, family, friends, commitment, trust and intimacy, etc goes a long way to determine if they would have a lasting or happy marriage. But there are times in every marriage when spouses feel that they are not communicating effectively with each other.


This is quite obvious when couples are always quarrelling or always getting into fights and verbal wars. This situation also expresses itself when one or both spouses feels misunderstood, unappreciated, disregarded or even disrespected.


When couples have a challenge with effectively communicating with their significant other especially when they feel that their basic needs are not met in their marriage or relationship, they may find that mastering one or more of four communication skills will go a long way towards chatting the course for a happy and successful marriage.


When one of this skills is lacking in your marriage it will seriously affect what you and your spouse can achieve in a positive way and when a marriage is deficient in more than one of these, that marriage would have been placed within the risk zone.

My Husband Lost His Job


“Negative feelings” is any feeling that makes you feel bad or uptight or angry. They are feelings that make you feel anyway but good. These may include feelings of resentment, bitterness, disapproval or disappointment. At one time other the other it may be necessary for you to express negative feelings to your spouse. It is important to learn how to express these emotions to your spouse in a constructive way. It could be quite destructive to your marriage and to your entire family if you were to express your negative emotions in unrestrained harsh words. Even when you have expressed yourself in a controlled manner but your expressions are laden with ridicule, sarcasm and verbal assaults, the communication will be counter-productive.

(Watch out for Part 2 of this article)


How to keep your man

Everyone has got a dream, including the people that have s*x behind the fence, in parties and clubs- that might be their own dream. They may not desire a glorious marriage ceremony. Buy why will you prefer a fake lifestyle?


I have seen and heard ladies of low class with no dreams or aspiration say this- “I want a tall, fair/dark, handsome, rich/wealthy man, no mother-I can cope with his father or put him where he belongs. He must be related to a politician in government. He must have charisma and good command of English… He must be very good in bed too…”


Anytime I listen to those babbling wishes from ladies who have no focus for their life. My question is “what will you add to that man, when he has all it takes. Some ladies keep saying they prefer a married man because they are rich, neat caring and responsible. Excuse me, most good men you see around are a product of a good woman in one corner. Go and build a home too.


As a matter of fact, if you are a man, do not go for those kind of Ladies. They are lazy-thief-gold diggers. It is fine to desire good things but not on selfish bases. Another question is- if a man you want possess all that you want, do you possess all it takes to have a good man? Most marriages that start on paparazzi level, usually end on Zero level. The beauty and secret of a lasting marriage is- starting small and starting well. I have seen couples who spent millions on a marriage and ends it in less than six(6) months.


So, wake up from your dream and face the reality. Your best will come, but might not look like what you want-only a woman of virtue can see the hidden treasure in a man that has it! You can create your own Dream man by becoming the Dream woman you expect your Dream man to have.


The fact that you are ripe for marriage doesn’t mean you should jump into the arms of the next available monster in the form of a man, simply because of the desperation for the title of “MRS”. In this day and age, it’s advisable that ladies be Independent because, no man wants to have a liability for a wife anymore. If you don’t have a source of livelihood, please get one asap before vying for marriage. And when you eventually decide to get married, know what you want in him! As a woman in this day and age, you must understand that:

1. There is an inner beauty about a lady who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of achieving anything she puts her mind to. There is a stunning beauty in the strength and determination of a lady who follows her own God given path, a woman who isn’t easily thrown off by obstacles along the way.

2. There is a beauty about a lady whose Confidence comes from her wealth of experience as she knows she can fall, pick herself back up, dust her shoulders and move on.

3. There’s nothing more attractive than a lady who carries herself like a Queen and wears her confidence like a Crown. Royalty or not, Dignity and Respect are every lady’s birth right. It’s a man’s job to respect a woman but, it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect. So my dear young ladies, please know thy worth!


Once you know your worth, then…. you are in a position to ask a man WHAT CAN HE DO FOR YOU, THAT YOU CAN’T DO FOR YOURSELF?

If you are paying your own bills and taking care of your household without the help of any man or woman for that matter; then you are in a good position to ask him, “What are you bringing to the table?” At this juncture, I know most of you will think I’m actually talking about, how much the man has got in his bank account…..honestly you are so wrong. LOL!!! Okay, let me quickly correct your thoughts by clearly stating what I mean by your asking him such a question. . . I am not referring to money.

Young lady, you need something more. Something more assuring, dependable, humble, strong, matured and everlasting.

1. You need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies, Deceit, Chauvinism and game-playing are not my idea of a Strong, Mature, Assuring, Humble and Dependable man.

2. You need a man who is not only mature and focused, but a man who is diligently striving for excellence in all ramifications of life. Right now, i know the men will be anxious to know what exactly i mean by this. Oh well……. Young lady

3. You need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because, you need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

4.You need someone who is striving for spiritual excellence because, you don’t need to be unevenly yoked….Believers mixed with Unbelievers is actually a great recipe for disaster. 

5. You need a man who is striving for financial excellence because, you don’t need a financial burden.

6.You need someone who is sensitive enough to understand exactly what you go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep you grounded, without appearing to be directly or indirectly domineering.

7.You actually need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider for the lives entrusted to him by God.

8. You need someone whom you don’t have to be forced to respect because, he is mature enough to always respect himself, hence you can always respect him. In order to be submissive, you must respect him. You cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I know you have no problem whatsoever with, being submissive…he just has to be worthy of your being submissive.

And by the way, you should not be looking for him…HE WILL FIND YOU. He will recognize himself in you. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he naturally, will always be drawn to you. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. You can’t help a man if he can’t help himself. Right now, I know the guys will be whining that, the ladies are just asking for A LOT.

How To Improve Your Sex AppealThe honest truth is WE LADIES ARE WORTH ALOT.



Stroke or Cerebrovascular Accident(CVA) is the third commonest cause of death in developed Countries. It is uncommon below the age of 40yrs and is more common in Males.However,16% of Women compared with 8% of Men die of a Stroke. The incidence of Stroke is decreasing in in the age range of 30-60 years as Hypertension is recognized and treated.In the Elderly population,Stroke remains a major cause of morbidity and mortality. It is usually of rapid onset and by definition, it lasts longer than 24hrs if the Patient survives. Stroke atimes occurs at rest or during activity. There could be- A COMPLETED STROKE :is when the neurological deficit has reached its maximum usually within 6hrs A STROKE ‘IN-EVOLUTION';is when symptoms and signs are getting worse,usually within 24hrs of onset A MINOR STROKE: These Patoents recover without a significant deficit usually within 1 week TRANSIENT ISCHAEMIC ATTACK (TIA). This is a focal deficit lasting less than 24hrs.There is COMPLETE recovery. The attack is usually of sudden onset.TIAs have a tendency to recur.

Stroke may also be caused by tumour,abscess,subdural haematoma etc


Signs of a Stroke are many but the common ones are -Inability to lift either the upper or lower limb or both on same side of the body -Weakness of the affected side of the body. Loss of sensation on the affected side Deviation of the Tongue and mouth to one side. Loss of furrows on the forehead Inability to whistle or puff out the cheeks Slurred speech or inability to complete sentence


Risk Factors are Hypertension Diabetes Mellitus Obesity Family history Cigarette smoking Hyperlipidemia Oral contraceptives Alcohol Age( advanced age)


Prevention: Avoid the risk faactors When stroke occurs, take the affected individual to a Standard hospital for treatment or management.


Sickle cell anaemia (SCA) is an Hemoglobinopathy with Autosomal dominant inheritance. Individuals with Sickle Cell Disease have abnormal Genotype S i.e HbSS-SS genotype. It usually manifests in Children often after fall in fetal hemoglobin (HbF) levels @ about 3-6months. Normal Red blood cells usually become sickle in shape when there is lack of Oxygen(Hypoxia),acidosis,low temperature,  etc. Typical Sickle cell crises include; -Bone pain(commonest) -chest pain -passage of blood in urine(haematuria) -priapism in males -kidney and liver problems -chronic leg ulcers

Some triggers of the Sickle Cell Crises are -Stress and Exercise -Low temperature -Dehydration -infections -Acidosis Prevention of Crises -Avoid the triggers -Treat any infection especially Upper Respiratory Tract Infections fast -Use of Antimalarials regularly -Drinking of liberal fluids to prevent pain and red blood cell sickling, some People advocate for 3litres of water -Management of crises in the hospital with Intravenous fluids, Antibiotics and Pain killers –Don’t be far from your Doctor or hospital for check upDoki


Asthma is an Acute or Chronic obstructive airway disease due to swelling or inflammation which makes the airway to be hypersensitive to irritations and allergies. As inflammation increases, there’s narrowing of the airways reducing the amount of air that goes to or comes out of the Lungs leading to Symptoms such as Wheezing(a hissing sound while breathing), chest tightness and cough. People who suffer from Asthma are known as Asthmatics and the attack is usually worse at night. Major causes of Asthmatic attacks are smoke, fumes, dust or dirt, powder and cement particles, allergies, cold temperature, stress, collagens, flowers, some insects especially Cockroaches, and exercises. Asthmatic attacks can be fatal as there’s Respiratory failure due to:

1. Production of more mucus in the airways and atimes form mucus plug thereby undermining the airflow.

2. Less air is able to pass through the airways.

3. The respiratory muscles around the airway tighten up and narrow the airway.

4. Increased inflammation of the airways continues.


1. Prevention of attacks is to know early that you are Asthmatic.

2. You will need to see your Doctor regularly.

3. Control your Asthma by going about with your Inhaler.

4. Avoid the causes mentioned above or those peculiar to you, that includes avoiding things you are allergic to.

Women-issueAsthma is incurable but with good treatment or management, an Asthmatic patient can live a normal and active life



Generally, the word ‘Mugu’ is a Nigerian slang that is usually used to refer to someone who is regarded as a fool, foolish or one who has been deceived and totally taken in by another who regards himself as being smarter than the supposed ‘mugu’.


Bringing this to the context of relationships, we herby ask, who is the Mugu?


The truth of it all is there are no ‘Mugus’ anywhere. The Guy or woman you call ‘Mugu’ is sometimes the person who loves you so much to the extent of doing very ‘stupid’ things without even realizing it….

Sometimes I get really very irritated when I hear girls call men who do nice things for them Mugu… He calls you up every minute of the day to find out what you are doing, he remembers to send you recharge cards credit which you never use to call him, he buys very nice clothes, wants a nice hair do on you, loves your family like his, and even ready to play by your no sex rule… Yet, you ignore him for your so called boyfriend who never cares if you exist.


He flashes your line and you call back, you are his ATM, chef, laundry, and his sex machine. He calls you a bore in bed after subjecting you to rigorous exercises in the name of satisfying his insatiable libido and worse still without protection. When he finds out that you are pregnant, he finds a flimsy excuse to leave you and you go through hell trying to kill your child. He comes back after a while to ask for your forgiveness and you accept him and start the process again. He is never ready for marriage, even though he has a steady job. Who then is the ‘Mugu’?


A lot of girls have lost life time opportunities in the name of this ‘Mugu’ saga! They love their darlyn boyfriend so much because he probably dresses well, speaks well and loves sex a great deal. They forget that those qualities do not keep a marriage… If perhaps, you find a good man who does not dress well, you can teach him and tush him to that level you want. No one is perfect in the long run…


Guys, you are not exempted. You call her ‘Mugu’ because she is always at your beck and call, she is respectful, humble and homely, honours your mother even more than hers, takes care of your siblings, helps you a great deal financially, yet you spend all the money she gives you on a girlfriend who you are trying so hard to impress, the one who wants money, money and more money, the one who treats your family like thrash..When it’s time for marriage, you call her old. Mr, didn’t you know how old she was before you started dating her? What taste are you even talking about? Why did you stop her from getting married if you knew she wasn’t up to your taste? She has become a ‘Mugu’ because you have seen big boobs and fine ass. You forget that beauty fades with time and does not keep a marriage…


Stop this ‘Mugu’ thing today so that you don’t become a ‘Mugu’ in the long run. If you don’t appreciate a man or woman’s dress sense, accent, or physique, then leave them or their pocket alone. Another person will love him that way. Who you reject is actually another person’s king or queen!

 Let the reason you love anyone be genuine…Marriage is serious business!!!! Shine your eyes…






The journey of marriage is beyond how romance books and films present it. As a matter of fact, the happily ever after, is a function of the foundation you laid during the period of courtship. There is this adage I was accustomed to while growing up- It is like a slogan and my mum was always fond of using it. She would always say: “As you lay your bed, so will you lie on it”.


When it comes to marriage or relationship, how you get it started will determine how it flows. Anytime I listen to tapes and read books on marriage from reputable men and women of God, I always thank God for my generation. Honestly, enough information is around for you to equip yourself with, if you want to experience the happily EVER AFTER. Unfortunately, when I see or read what people are going through in marriage and relationship, I feel bad and sometimes ask what they’ve been doing with their lives before marriage. Today; everybody is having fan pages, pointing at marriage and relationship, but people are fed with the partial truth. The higher the information, the higher the confusion, especially when you don’t learn to filter things you hear or read. How will you know how to filter when you do not know the right from the left? So, the following are the things to do, in order to experience the happily EVER AFTER to you dream of:

  1. Have a mentor. Get an older couple as your Coach, especially if your parents’ marriage is not good enough for you to learn from.
  2.  Stop spending money on Brazilian weave on alone. If you are a man, all your finances should not only go into loading your wardrobe with designers, but also with BOOKS- You should buy and read, don’t just buy and use them to decorate your library. When you have right knowledge about marriage, you will stand-out in marriage.
  3.  Listen to tapes or messages from reputable men and women of God from various tribes and Nation.
  4.  The greater part of success in marriage is embedded in good character, and that’s why we will appreciate it, if you are making use of our ATTITUDE 101 teachings, it is going to help you a long way. Also read books that can help and improve your attitudes. Permit me to also say this: if you are a Christian, allow the Fruit of the Spirit to manifest in you- that is the best way to plant, nurture and grow a good character.
  5.  I am sorry if you don’t want to hear this; but having known what you are suppose to know, before you go into a relationship or in the cause of your relationship and marriage- do not keep God out of your business. God attends to what you invite him into. It is quite unfortunate that, people wait until things go wrong, before they begin calling on the God that they never involved from the start.
  6. Stay with us on this Blog: We have assembled an experienced Team of Relationship Coaches and Marriage Counselors to help you all the way. Beginning from the search for your life partner, to enjoying a model peaceful marriage and to rescuing your sick relationship or marriage.



How Living In Truth Can Help Grow Your Marriage And RelationshipConclusively, marriage is not without its ups and down, but the solid foundation will sustain you. Just do your part and you will experience the HAPPILY EVER AFTER.